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You’re Banned By Chad
There's a public house that’s rather
famous in our town,
Though there's no-one in there it's a place of great renown,
The reason is the landlord has thrown everybody out,
And every night you hear him shout....
Yer banned yer banned yer getting out
of hand,
I've noticed your behaviour and it's hard to understand,
How people like you can do the things yer do
It’s hard to understand and now yer banned....
It has a different atmosphere from all
the other pubs,
Like Pentonville or Parkhurst or the jail at Wormwood Scrubs,
I've never known a person there to stay for just a day,
Before you hear the landlord say......
Yer banned yer banned yer getting out of hand,
I've noticed your behaviour and it's hard to understand,
How people like you can do the things yer do
It’s hard to understand and now yer banned....
Bells on my Tills
There are bells on my tills and I love
TO hear them ringing,
I love to hear when they call, TILLS I LOVE YOU,
When "here's pounds in the tray with a maximum ding dong dinging,
I have no worries at all TILLS I LOVE YOU....
And those banknotes those wonderful banknotes,
Green purple, brown yellow and blue (to name but a few)
There are bells on my tills and I love to hear them ringing,,
I love T0 hear when they call TILLS I LOVE YOU.....
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HAPPY Landlord Medley By Chad
I am the happy landlord selling pints of happiness,
And I am going to teach you the secret of success,
I keep the wages low I keep the prices high,
I wave from my Mercedes as I go driving by,
And if anybody asks you why this should be so,
I have a little song I sing, everywhere I go.....
Will it fill the till, will it- fill the till,
If you can't sing the proper thing there’s many others will,
I'd sack William Shakespeare if he didn't fill the bill,
Will it fill the till?
When I go up to heaven and I'm at the pearly gate,
I’ll apologise to Peter, that; I am rather late,
I'll tell him I've been gathering the cash I might have lost,
Been inside my counting house counting up the cost,
I have a vague suspicion he might whisper in my ear,
No tills allowed in here
Will it fill the till, will it- fill the till,
If you can't sing the proper thing there’s many others will,
I'd sack William Shakespeare if he didn't fill the bill,
Will it fill the till?
Eleven 0’Clock
Eleven 0’Clock......,It's Saturday night,
He’s rung the bell..... .He's flicked the light,
He's had yer money......He wants yer out.,
That’s the tine when you’ll hear him shout,
DRINK YER DRINK OR DOWN THE SINK THH LITTLE BLUE LIGHT IS ON THE BLINK,
WHAT' WILL ALL THE PEOPLE THINK IN COURT ON MONDAY MORNING.
If you object.........Or you complain,
He'll throw you in.........the pouring rain,
You'll never get.......In there again,
His voice will still be ringing round your brain,
DRINK YER DRINK OR DOWN THE SINK THH LITTLE BLUE LIGHT IS ON THE BLINK,
WHAT' WILL ALL THE PEOPLE THINK IN COURT ON MONDAY MORNING |
